Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
only you would photoshop your dick
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
