think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize