You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
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