Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
