Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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