ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
