is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
