why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
