He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
