After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
