I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
