Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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