pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
