When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize