I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
