I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
How's work?
Spinning.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
my poor anus
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
