Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
