she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
