i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
