She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
