Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize