It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
