Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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