he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
