im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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