He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
