i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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