You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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