i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
