Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
