Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
