Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
