Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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