I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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