Already got asked if we're dating
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
