if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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