Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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