Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
