Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
