I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
