I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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