I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
