:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You were trust falling into bushes
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