i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
