there was a trapeze. enough said
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
