Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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