I am in a vortex of obligation.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
