just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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