If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
