Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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