Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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