All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm sobbing to NWA
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
