im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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