the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
This baby is an asshole
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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