Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
