I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
we should paint friendship bongs
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize