my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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