She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
